Right in the middle of it all, There Is Jesus!

Life has a way of lifting you up in the most exciting times and tear you down in some of the most horrific times.   Some say it’s whatever road you choose to follow.  Whether good or bad, YOU choose!  I think that God somehow, someway saw fit that He chose me for this specific unique life with my boys.

You are given the opportunity to shine in an amazing way so take that opportunity and use it for the good.

The devastation (as I have shared before) in losing a child is not just the loss itself.  YES, you miss him/her more than anyone could imagine, but you also grieve the steps in life that one takes such as learning to drive, getting a license, graduation, your first job, or whatever it may be but in a special needs kind of world, you mourn the loss of every single step in their life.

For me, it goes all the way back to simply giving a hug or waving bye-bye, trying to feed yourself, speaking, crawling, walking, etc.  A lot of people take that for granted.

I am at a point of depression that anger/bitterness is erupting.  We are home bound for the most part.  Brently can’t handle a crowd like he use to.   His anxiety is really tough. It’s almost like he’s having a seizure the way he stiffins up.  My husband was coming home from work the other day and noticed on a church sign that some friends of ours were going to be singing there. We decided we would go.

Dealing with depression and Brent and his anxiety, I needed to at least try to get out of the house.  I honestly was going to just hear them sing (because I love them so much and we don’t get to see them very often) but, I was truly blessed that night.

The service started and I was already shaken.  I could feel the tension building up in my neck and the group began to sing….. Tension was slowly releasing from my neck and spirit of God was all in that building.  Brent was shouting in his own way and not one person confronted us about him being to loud because it was loud in there. Ha Ha!  People were praising God and worshiping and thanking Him for all that He has done.  As I set quietly on the pew, tears running down my face, I was praying that God allow me to be where I was a few years ago.  I was strong and faithful in His word and enjoyed life and sharing my story and so thankful for every little thing that came my way and as the group started to sing a song that talks about being in the most darkest devastating time in your life, that right in the middle of it all,  There Is Jesus. I then realized that the Lord never left me.  He was always right in the middle of it all.  I am the one who drifted into a dark pit. In the words of my friend Judy, she said, ” Our communication with God is through prayer. God’s communication to us is through His Word. The Holy Bible.

No matter what you’re facing,

No matter where you’ve been,

He’s right there in the middle,

that’s where He’s always been.

So be strong and take courage,

when you think your gonna fall,

cause right in the middle of it all,

there is JESUS!

Depression is real! I have said this before.  It is apart of me.  I can’t make it leave.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  I want to shine through this darkness and lead by example and although I haven’t been doing that, I challenge myself and others to Be strong and take courage!  My friend Debbie said right before the service ended, as a reminder, that WHATEVER your facing, Jesus is in the middle of it all.  I leave this encouragement with you today.

There is JESUS!



About Tonya Aycock

Hi, my name is Tonya. I am a wife and mom of two children (Brandon & Brently). I am a born again Christian. My passion is raising awareness for my boys and making sure they have the very best that I can give them. I love singing. I was in a Southern Gospel Group for about three years, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I think most of all, besides the singing, I enjoyed meeting people and sharing my testimony of how God has brought me through. I love playing guitar and hearing my sweet husband play music and sing to our boys. I enjoy making crafts and designing floral arrangements. I love camping. I am always up for a new adventure! I enjoy working in my yard and anything outdoors. I love my home. I like taking pictures of God’s beautiful creation. The hummingbirds, Canadian geese, turtles, and deer are beautiful! I never dreamed that I would enjoy the country as much as I do. I have always been a city kind of girl, so let’s just say I am adjusting to the country's life well. Haha! Another exciting thing about my husband and myself is that we have always wanted to open a restaurant. Maybe one day… who knows…. I created this blog to share the in’s and out’s of daily living of being a mom of children with special needs, how life can change in an instant, losing a child, finding real friendships that live the same kind of life that I do that truly understand, and much more. I love to talk about my faith as I learn how to cope through life (good and bad) together. I want to always put complete control in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, because without Him, I am nothing. My prayer is that I can somehow help someone by sharing my story. It is most definitely easier said than done, and I fail daily, but striving to make things work in a world that doesn’t understand is just one of the reasons I am here, writing and sharing my story and trying to be the best me as I can and being the best mother that my children will love and respect and see me survive and thrive as I watch them surviving two thriving in life. But, most of all that they see Jesus in me. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 God has a plan for my life and my family as well and for who is reading this right now. I can only hope and pray that I am doing what He has called me to do…… Being a wife, mom, advocate of special needs, a friend, encourager, but most of all… a servant of His. This has been and continues to be a unique life raising my SuPeR HeRo children dancing in the rain of the beautiful, messy life!
This entry was posted in A Life Worth Living, Faith, Hardship, Loss, Death of a child, Special Needs, L1Syndrome, Thankfulness and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Right in the middle of it all, There Is Jesus!

  1. That was beautiful, Tonya. Been where you were many times. Losing children is never easy and the waves come crashing down sometimes when we least expect it. Thank you for your vulnerability and your faithfulness.

    Liked by 1 person

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